Who I Am Is How I Formed


Stranger Things (the show) ignited my raging nostalgia for the 80’s and every wonderful thing those years held for me.

That was the decade I became me.  Those years and everyone in it shaped and formed my core beliefs, my interests, my personality, and my fondest memories.

The show also reminded me, with wistful, nagging bittersweet pangs of sad/happy, of the beautiful friendships and magical moments within them.

Through these relationships I learned the lessons of friendship, loss and longing, jealousy, passion, fun and adventure, discovery and the joy of being in nature.

When I think about “who I am”, my mind does not turn to my career, where I live, or even my family.

Who I am is how I formed.

Remembering this time in my life – the people and experiences, conversations, and intimate or exciting moments – keeps me grounded and humble.  That was the decade I felt my first thrills and devastations. Whether it was about music, art, movement, romantic and friend love.  Moving and losing them, remembering time lost, and having to reinvent myself.

Learning to lie and tell the truth (and when to do which one).

Experimenting with taboo.  The difference between relishing and enjoying this and fearing it.

First kisses and coming into the body.  Realizing potentiality of the mind and body: What it can do, what feels good and comes naturally, and what is out of reach for now.

The dynamics of group and the sweet luxury of loyalty and knowing someone is in your heart-mind forever.  A part of who I am always.

Amazing to think how we all shaped each other and are in part responsible for wherever we are in life right now.


Your Magical Moments


Think about your first awake and alive moments with all five (or six) of your senses.

What was happening, who was there, what did you realize about yourself?

How does it continue to inform who you are now?

What are the snapshots in your life album that you would use to paint a picture/collage of who you are?

Is there anyone you would like to reach out to and thank for being a vital part of your becoming?

Anywhere you would like to return to and savour the lingering power of that place?

Or, do you have an anchor moment when your SELF slammed into you and you came into awareness?

These are magical moments and they must be kept alive just like you would honour a loved one who has passed to keep their spirit alive in you.  Keep your spirit alive in you.

What stories of Nostalgia would you like to tell?


Quantum Physics

Amazingly, about the same time I have been re-discovering my childhood, I’ve also been reading “The Possibility Principle”, (Schwarz).  https://melschwartz.com/

I don’t believe in coincidence, only synchronicity, so I choose to trust this serendipity was precisely created for this moment to draw connections.

Quantum physics explains that we are all essentially undulating waves and particles of light.  It would seem that when the light photon is not being observed it exists as a wave.  At the moment of observation, the wave collapses and becomes a particle.

The act of observation collapses the wave.

Prior to the collapse the wave represents pure potentiality.  Like our precious lives.  At birth we are pure potentiality.  And then profound and subtle interactions occur, and we experience a collapse.  That becomes a “piece in time” of us.

A part of “reality” is created in that moment that starts to define “me.”

It becomes manifest into a fixed state when we start to look at it.  Every experience sufficiently impactful to collapse the wave that is us narrows our potential.


The Shape Slowly Unfolds over Time


Like a sculptor carving away the excess, the shape slowly unfolds over time.  In a way, as more of our being becomes particle, it is as if there is a hardening like clay in a kiln.

Even more fantastically, there is also a phenomenon called “superposition.”  Superposition is the karmic truth that we are full participants in crafting this universe and therefore our Selves.

That power lies in the instant prior to collapsing the wave with our NEXT thought/emotion.  Having thoughts that arise from our original collapses will continue to perpetuate more of the same.

BUT we can use quantum physics to our advantage by re-envisioning our wave collapse.  This is essentially what therapy is.  See your experiences differently.

The key to the birth of a particle is in the Observer.

Be a new observer and see your life with new eyes.  Become a conscious partner in the evolution of reality.  It’s happening anyway – but you can take charge!

How would you like to tell your stories of nostalgia now?





Kathlyn McHugh RCC, RSW Counselling Practice takes place at the Vitality Clinic in the West Shore Area, close to Victoria BC.

Visit the website at: Home – The Vitality Clinic