Are you experiencing open-hearted love? Open-hearted love is simply a state of feeling open, accepting and expansive, versus sensing vulnerability or fear. Regardless of your stance, you will be empowered with this guide to change the narrative. We walk you through the process, beginning with clarifying assumptions and expectations and most importantly, making your unspoken feelings explicit. Read on and prepare to expand your heart.
Starting the path to an open-hearted love
When embarking on a journey to explore love at its most pure and unfiltered, keep in mind these reminders about love in contrast to fear. Recognise the energy that love and fear possess and how they can impact your life. In this exercise of discovering and tapping into open-hearted love, we engage with five vital approaches.
1. Name your needs
Cease arguing, and start expressing and listening. Focus on growth and the vision of your lives together.
Questions to ask:
What are you building/creating together?
What is your shared dream?
Are your daily lives reflecting your core values and leading to the place you once committed to journey towards together?
If not, what are you waiting for?
2. Being cherished and adored
Many couples that have been together through hardship wish for the ability to “walk together”. This concept translates to being playful, enjoying and delighting in each other from the heart. Establish your foundations to being cherished and adored by first making contact. Then, work on immediacy, transparency, humility, non-judgement and compassion. Try reaching out and sharing experiences with them in the moment. Together, these elements will unlock heart-centred openness.
Questions to ask:
Can you imagine what it would be like to be cherished and adored by your person?
What would it look and feel like?
Have you told them about this fantasy?
What if it were safe to be vulnerable and free so that you could feel your face light up when you think about them.
3. Step up and don’t hold back
Take more responsibility. Action self-regulation, soothing the other, apologising, and showing gratitude and appreciation. Be more honest and don’t hold back.
Discuss what is required to create this culture of emotional safety. Gauge your capacity for providing what is needed realistically and then be transparent about it. Expectations will soon be managed accurately.
Questions to ask:
Ask about others’ boundaries. And then be sure to protect/respect them fiercely.
4. Focus on compassion
In our homes, we need to create a culture of emotional safety. Your relationship sets the tone for the relationships in the family and their future love connections. The focus needs to be compassion.
Understand that a family is a growing machine. And with this in mind, there needs to be endless space to make mistakes, grow through them, learn and make the necessary changes. In your relationship, you need to feel needed but are also permitted to need the other, too. This requires flexibility to switch out who is leading with the soft landing place when the ball is dropped. Negotiation should be a daily occurrence so that everyone feels heard and power is shared.
5. Clarify your needs
Commitment to the well-being of each other is paramount, as the family rests on your relationship.
- Be transparent, as guessing only creates confusion.
- Clarify what is important, daily.
- Be clear about expectations, but also open to adjusting them based on new circumstances.
- Communicate and negotiate your needs for support and care as they change.
- Set parameters for how you will demonstrate this love for one another as you cannot know day-to-day what that needs to look like.
We need to remind our partners what we need. For example, if you need a connection throughout the day to feel cared for, tell them. “I didn’t hear from you today and I felt sad. When I don’t hear from you, it feels to me as though you don’t care and it brings me down. I need to hear from you and then I feel secure.”
Shout your open-hearted love from the rooftops
We schedule everything in our lives. Now is the time to schedule time with our loved ones. Dismiss the idea that our partner should “just know things”.
You can successfully navigate around avoidable heartaches and conflicts by applying the above formula. Work on naming your needs, cherishing and adoring, stepping up on your responsibility, focusing on compassion and clarifying your needs.
Kathlyn McHugh RCC, RSW Counselling Practice takes place at the Vitality Clinic in the West Shore Area, close to Victoria BC.
Visit the website at: Home – The Vitality Clinic