The difference between “Being” and “Becoming”:  Becoming is not static and it is not something that you arrive at.  It is an ever unfolding and organic process without an agenda or judgement.

So that, wherever you are is exactly where you are supposed to be.  Becoming allows for continuous change – in direction, purpose, method and rationale. It is ultimately and completely adaptable.


The Pursuit of Happiness & The Storm Within


Many clients talk about the pursuit of happiness.  Happiness is a feeling – not a state of being and certainly not a state of becoming.  As any mammal can expect we can hope for, and strive to experience, pockets of content.  Pockets that get deeper, longer in duration, and more frequent over time (if we’re lucky).

But what we need to be is alert to those moments of happiness.  To capture them and savour their sweet flavour and allow the feeling to caress us, as long as it will last.  Because it never does.

Unfortunately, what we often do is the opposite:  Something upsetting occurs.  Something that stirs the inner river in our core.  It creates a storm within.  We participate in the brewing of it by ruminating and swimming in it longer than required to get the learning from it.

Then we miss the moments of happiness:  The glimpses of sun are dim because we are wrestling below the surface with our own inner storm.


Riding the River


If we ride the river on top of the rapid – allowing it to carry us through life and fluidly meet each experience directly – we would be ready to receive life as it greets us around each bend.

Perhaps then we would be ready for the unexpected. Adept at negotiating a friendly relationship with what life carries us into.

Welcoming rather than reacting to it.

What if every “problem” was like a rock or log or fish in the water?

Helping guide our travels down the river.

What if our identities (that we work so hard to create and then resent when they are not working for us) were just like the leaves that fall into the river in autumn.

Evidence of the season.

An extension of the tree, only meant to help it for a time to stay alive but always meant to be shed at intervals.

Who would you be without your identity?

Who could you become if you allowed yourself to move into that fluid space of movement in alignment with the rest of the alive world?

Where could you travel if you did not resist the river of life?

Instead, embraced the pull – curiosity and acceptance taking over.  Shifting into receiving mode.

What would you want to receive?


Practicing Manifestation


I want to clarify something that comes up sometimes around “receiving.”  Followers of “The Secret” and those who practice manifesting…

Note: We are literally always manifesting.  It just isn’t often conscious, aware, and honest.

While we have the capacity to receive all the abundance we could ever need or want, most of us are not clear-minded or honest enough to ask for what we need or want.

Or believe that we actually can receive this.

Many people will say, “I want wealth- to be rich” and then go on to describe the Jimmy Choo shoes they covet.  But if you really press and probe, the kind of richness they crave and seek has nothing to do with shoes at all.  And they have not done anything to generate wealth or prosperity.

We participate with the Being and Becoming all around us and this plays a vital and critical role in what and how we Become.

It’s not enough to be open to receiving, we also need to participate, be in relationship with our seen and unseen world, and GIVE.







Kathlyn McHugh RCC, RSW Counselling Practice takes place at the Vitality Clinic in the West Shore Area, close to Victoria BC.

Visit the website at: Home – The Vitality Clinic